Am I cheating?

This is my Tarot for today. Hi Karen! Here is your Daily Tarot Card for Sunday, February 5

"The World card suggests that my alter ego is The Conqueror, whose superpower lies in graduation to the next level. Today I am free. I have accomplished my mission and feel on top of the world. I will enjoy the experience to its fullest. I have come full circle on my path to success. My job is done, my dream fulfilled, and I have them eating out of my hands. Accept and embrace the journey taken. It has served great purpose in my growing wiser and stronger, and has provided a sense of relief in that now it's complete."

As some of you know, I self published my first book this past week. For me it was an experiment to see if I could do it. Don't get me wrong, it's a good story. A novelette though, not a novel. It is a classic traditional romance, like the ones I used to read all the time and Romance is what I write. And I am happy, but why do I feel like I've cut in the lunch line? There are so many great writers that are sitting waiting for a publisher to pick them up and here I cut in front of them and self publish, shouldn't I be waiting in the line behind them?
And I'm not picking on others that are self publishing, I have read books from a couple of self publishers and they are awesome. You wouldn't know they were self pubbed, unless they told you. Great stories, well written, awesome covers, and I support them 100%
I am working on another book, this time a novel, or so I hope, that I will self publish also, but I will continue querying my series to agents and publishers for the time being, so I don't feel like I'm cheating? No, I don't think that's the reason. I know everyone has their reasons for choosing self publishing over traditional and I believe that we all have to make the choice that works best for us, just like we do with all the choices we have  to make in our lives.
As for my Tarot, I can't agree with it totally because, I don't believe, "I have come full circle on my path to success. My job is done, my dream fulfilled, and I have them eating out of my hands." Nope don't agree at all,
I know that I still have a long way to go!

Let's Skip the Rest of January!

Can we just fast forward to February? Please?

Wow January has had me on a roller coaster. My email account was hacked into, not once, but twice.
I have had to send out apology emails to everyone for the spam that my hackers have been sending them.
 Then I had to create a new email at a different server. What a mess!
And then there was the mix up with my paypal debit.
And to top everything off, My car has failed the smog test 3 times, even after I paid out the $168.00
to have the carburator rebuilt! So I'm stuck at home :-(
But then that's not too bad, I wrote a novelette and am working on another while being stuck at home,
But the worst thing for me is:
Being stuck on the second book in my series!
The words are there, in my head, some on paper, others on the computer, the whole story actually in one way or another,
But they are just words. I can't seem to express the emotions that those words should express.
The love/hate, deep down, I will be there for you forever, no matter where our paths lead us, type of emotions.
So can we just fast forward a couple of weeks and hope February is better?
And I'm not the only one who has been having a not so great week. Check Out Debra's blog here

http://debrakristi.wordpress.com/2012/01/22/launch-needed-row80-check-in-122/

At least she's got an awesome poem to help with the struggles.
Happy Sunday everyone, and here's to a better week! I hope!